Emotional intelligence: More success with EQ (with test)

According to scientists, there are 9 types of intelligence - including logical-mathematical and linguistic intelligence, interpersonal or intrapersonal intelligence. Especially the last two form the so-called emotional intelligence , which is called equivalent to the IQ as EQ. Some consider it the most important form of intelligence at all. Especially in the job, where soft skillsoften more important to success than pure expertise. But what exactly is behind the concept of emotional intelligence and EQ? And: Are you emotionally intelligent yourself? We've put together the key answers, a definition (after Goleman), examples and an emotional intelligence test, and tips on how to learn and improve emotional intelligence ...

Emotional intelligence: More success with EQ (with test)

Table of Contents: That's what you'll find in this article

Emotional Intelligence Definition: The concept of Goleman
Emotional Intelligence: A bundle of abilities
Emotional Intelligence Test: How Much EQ Do You Have?
Test: How high is your EQ?
Resolution to the test
Learning Emotional Intelligence: That's the way it works
Analysts are more empathetic than intuitive
Disadvantages: The negative sides of emotional intelligence
The trolley dilemma: Emotional intelligence makes you more helpful
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Emotional Intelligence Definition: The concept of Goleman
Emotional Intelligence Definition Learning Test Social IntelligenceBehind the emotional intelligence ultimately lies the idea of ​​understanding and evaluating feelings in oneself and others as well as being able to deal with them and react appropriately. The idea is already around 100 years old and originally comes from the American psychologist Edward Lee Thorndike, who still used the term "social intelligence" for it.

The concept of emotional intelligence was first introduced by the two US psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer - that was in 1990.

However, it was only her colleague, the US psychologist and bestselling author Daniel Goleman , who made it quite popular some seven years later: In 1997, he dedicated a whole book to the EQ, which became an international bestseller. Since then, emotional intelligence has often acted as an alternative to classical intelligence research.

Goleman himself calls it "the ability to recognize our own and others' emotions, to motivate ourselves and to deal well with emotions in ourselves and in our relationships."

According to Goleman, the key characteristics of emotional intelligence are twelve competencies :

Emotional Intelligence 12 Competencies according to Daniel Goleman
Perceptible to the outside and thus characteristic for the emotional intelligence are after Goleman above all:

self-perception
This includes the ability to understand both their own feelings and moods, as well as their impact on the environment. It is therefore a form of self-confidence . It literally means being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses. In the context of emotional intelligence, it involves having a comparatively objective view of one's own actions.

self-regulation
This means that those affected can respond to negative moods, wishes and impulses in a controlled manner - and not impulsively. This is especially true for strong emotions, such as anger , fear or revenge . In a professional context, for example, it is a form of self-management when you finish your job and then have a coffee afterwards.

empathy
Perhaps the strongest form of emotional intelligence. Empathy is the gift of empathizing with other people and being able to respond appropriately. It signals to the other person : "I understand you!" - and is crucial to gaining trust and sympathy . At the work level, it not only helps to solve and prevent possible conflicts , but also enables customer-oriented action.

dealing with people
This point builds on the previous one: it refers to the ability to build and maintain social contacts. This is especially important when networking , but it also demonstrates leadership qualities.

motivation
Means to dedicate yourself to dedication to specific goals and to be able to cheer yourself again and again. This is especially important if things go differently than planned. Being able to motivate oneself means having more frustration tolerance and thus having energy and endurance than less emotionally intelligent people.

A high EQ thus also expresses inner emotional strength , down to the so-called resilience , so the ability to deal with severe crises and blows of fate and the subsequent roller coaster ride of the feelings sovereign than most people.

6 levels of Emotional Intelligence Graphics
According to surveys, most people classify emotional intelligence as more important than rational intelligence (IQ). Sure, who is looking for success, should not be stupid. But without this interpersonal EQ, some oh-so-smart contemporaries also like to mutate into the intelligence beast - in the literal sense.

Emotional intelligence EQ IQ survey
PDF Download IconPrecisely because professional success is not based solely on expertise and emotional intelligence plays an increasingly important role in the job, HR decision makers are increasingly using the job interview to test candidates' EQs with specific questions . We have distilled 11 of these EQ applicant questions into a small eBook for you, which you can download for free HERE .

Emotional Intelligence: A bundle of abilities
Emotional Intelligence: A bundle of abilitiesDespite the already quite extensive definition of emotional intelligence according to Goleman this remains a collective term for a whole variety of skills . In addition, five more are listed here, which are repeatedly mentioned in the context:

Communication skills: this means both the ability to actively listen , as well as to formulate one's own messages clearly and to interpret the messages of others.
Social competence: This is the ability to build relationships with strangers and to cultivate relationships with acquaintances and friends. However, it is also the ability to match one's own action goals with the attitudes and values ​​of a group - and thus to a certain extent influence the behavior and attitudes of this group. This includes the talent for cooperation as well as the constructive ability to conflict.
Knowledge of human nature: This is about the ability to assess people based on their own experience, but also their behavior after a short time. Observable behavior includes body language, posture and facial expressions. Likewise, on the verbal level, one looks at how the other person is behaving: rather emotional or objectively arguing?
Curiosity: It describes an essential feature of a person who is eager to develop new knowledge. This includes the willingness to be surprised, to wonder, to get involved in something new. This characteristic promotes creativity, because many experiments and thus discoveries would never have come about without curiosity.
Intuition: This includes the ability to listen to his gut feeling . At the same time, decisions are not made on the basis of feelings alone, but at the level of the subconscious, a wealth of information is used that is only immediately available at the moment.

Emotional Intelligence Test: How Much EQ Do You Have?
Well, are you curious now how high your EQ is ? Most people have a good sense of how strong their emotional intelligence is. However, we also tend to see ourselves differently than it is true.

Incidentally, this applies in both directions: Either we gloss over - or we go to court much too hard with ourselves. The following - short - self-test should serve primarily as an objective corrective and give you clues as to how your emotional intelligence is ordered.

Of course, the 25 questions can not provide a final verdict, especially since we can learn emotional intelligence, but also unlearn. For the first orientation and inventory of the emotional intelligence test but is always good.

Test: How high is your EQ?
Emotional intelligence test - learn emotional intelligenceThis is how the test works: Please answer the following questions as honestly as possible - everything else is time-wasting for you - and sum up the points behind each applicable answer.

To get an even more accurate result, it can be helpful not only to reflect your own strengths, but ideally also by one or two people you know well. After the self-assessment , ask them again to get a better comparison between external image and self-image .

The selected persons should be well-intentioned because someone else could use the results against you and cause you harm. If you really want to make a difference, listen carefully to your friend's comments. But use this possibility only for an honest assessment and not as a return coach!

I am patient.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I understand the reason for my feelings.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I see the good in every human.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I try to empathize with other people and understand why they act that way.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I am confident.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can express my feelings in detail and differentiated.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I am good with stress.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I focus on opportunities rather than obstacles.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I stay calm under pressure and stress.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can understand how experiences influence other people's feelings, thoughts and behavior.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I am optimistic about the future.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can control my impulses.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
My interest in others makes me a good listener.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can handle the emotions of others well.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
Even with upcoming changes, I remain optimistic.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
Strong emotions like anger, fear and joy, I can control well and knows how to use them for the benefit of others.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I am good at responding to different, sometimes contradictory requirements.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I easily understand the opinions of other people, even if I represent another.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can react flexibly to unexpected changes.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
It is important to me to understand the motivations of other people.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can easily change my goals and plans.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can describe my emotions the moment I experience them.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can adapt effortlessly when a situation is uncertain or changes frequently.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I understand how stress affects my mood and behavior.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
I can change my priorities quickly.
Always 3 p.
Mostly 2 p.
Never 1 P.
Resolution to the test
You have 25 to 39 points: Here it goes to the resolution. (PDF)
You have 40 to 59 points: Here it goes to the resolution. (PDF)
You have 60 to 75 points: Here it goes to the resolution. (PDF)
Download free PDF Free IconPS: If you are not in the mood for the test, there are a few indications that they have high emotional intelligence. We have summarized these in a free PDF that you can download HERE .

Learning Emotional Intelligence: That's the way it works
At the same time, the question arises as to whether emotional intelligence can be learned ? The short answer: Yes, partly. Some of our talent is actually born in our cradle. On the other hand, you can learn some other qualities - more self-confidence, better listening, managing your emotions and reflecting more consciously, for example.

Above all, the frequent self-perception and self-reflection play a decisive role - especially in their own emotion regulation. In order to perceive and to understand oneself and your feelings (triggers, reactions) and to steer, there are three helpful methods :

Practice mindfulness
Originally, the term is a Buddhist idea. Scientists today also define mindfulness as the intense attention we give to the present - in an open and accepting way.

Ulrich Ott from the University of Giessen found that mindfulness makes people more psychologically stable and healthy . His colleague, the Berlin psychologist Willi Zeidler, again found in his research that mindfulness changes the horror: Mindful people respond to stress stimuli physiologically measurably less tense.

Talk to yourself
Self-talk functions like a valve: anger, grief, and frustration can not eat into you so easily; unclear thoughts and feelings are put into words and sorted , making decisions easier. And last but not least, one notices what one hears better than just thought.

And as scientists have recently shown, dialogue with the ego can reduce stress, reduce aggression, and provide a more sophisticated look, as US psychologist Thomas Brinthaupt demonstrated in his research.

Accept feelings
Many people tend to ignore any emotion or as little as possible to deal with it. Logically, this also leads to the fact that no emotional intelligence can arise. For a pronounced EQ, you have to accept feelings and deal with them .

Emotional Intelligence Test Definition Emotional Wheel Emotions
This not only applies to your own, but also to the emotions of other people . Whoever escapes, when emotions arise, can not learn emotional intelligence. Instead, focus on these issues and question your own emotions and the emotions of others.

Analysts are more empathetic than intuitive
Analysts are more empathetic than intuitiveBe able to adapt to other people; empathize with what they feel - who makes it easier? Intuitively, most would say that people who have a strong sense of intuition and listen to your gut feel more likely to have that emotional intelligence. However, a recent study draws a different picture: analysts are, after all, more empathetic .

Researchers Christine Ma-Kellams of the University of La Verne and Jennifer Lerner of Harvard University wanted to investigate . So they designed several series of experiments and put in one of them, for example, their subjects before the election: they should help an emotionally confused man and this ...

either an intuitive approach and advice
or an analytical one .
As expected, the intuitive approach was more popular . The majority of subjects chose this route of emergency relief. But was that the better strategy ?

So the researchers also looked at the other side: which advice was better for the recipient and which of them was the better one, even on objective standards ?

Of course, they guessed the result: who did not immediately follow his gut feeling to help or intuitively received the person concerned, but the situation once sounded and analyzed in peace , came not only to a better feedback - he understood the person better and came with it better.

Or as the researchers put it: "Reasoning led to the right outcome. Those participants were much better at reading the emotions of their counterpart. "


Disadvantages: The negative sides of emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence enjoys a good reputation - and rightly so. It can contribute to a better understanding among each other, increase self-esteem and noticeably improve the atmosphere in the workplace.

Unfortunately, the opposite is possible if the EQ is used to manipulate others and gain an advantage . And that happens more often than we wish.

An increasing number of research findings indicate that it understands a connection between a human being and exploiting a human being . Meaning that not a few people with pronounced emotional intelligence use their knowledge of the emotional world of others to exploit this selfishly. Of course, you should not subject any friendly colleague to a malicious intent. Often, it is enough to be aware of the possible motives behind the kindness, so as not to be so easily victims.

In order to draw a complete picture of the emotional intelligence in this dossier, we also want to leave the dark side of this - otherwise positive - property unmentioned:

Emotional intelligence can make you selfish
An article from 2010 suggests that emotional intelligence is not only used in the workplace to provide for a better common good. Such adepts often use their talents for purely egotistical career purposes: for example, to make themselves more popular with important people, to outmaneuver direct competitors, to influence or control opinions and emotions among colleagues in their minds.

Emotional intelligence can make you more ruthless
A particularly explosive mix is ​​the combination of emotional intelligence and the tendency to manipulate other people. A study published in 2011 found that this combination is particularly ruthless to other people's feelings and public reputation. In this particular case, despite high EQs, those concerned did not hesitate to embarrass others publicly in order to put themselves in a better light and pursue their own goals better.

Emotional intelligence promotes the exploitation of others
An equally alarming result was provided by a study in 2014: It showed that emotional intelligence is the key to exploiting people in the first place. Only those who understand the feelings and thoughts of their counterparts can make them act in their own interest. It was this function that filled the emotional intelligence, as it enables the malevolent thought to be carried out.

Emotionally intelligent people are often narcissists
Narcissism can be an enormous burden for fellow human beings and work colleagues. Researchers found in research that there is a strikingly strong correlation between emotional intelligence and narcissism. The problem: The combination leads to the narcissists abusing their talents for their own purposes and cheating others.

The trolley dilemma: Emotional intelligence makes you more helpful
Emotional intelligence test Social intelligence EQ emotional intelligenceThe more we put ourselves in the mind of a person , the more we are ready to commit ourselves later for this person. Or in short: EQ makes you more helpful. This is the conclusion of a study by the Viennese psychologist Claus Lamm. He examined decision-making processes in fictional emergency situations. In addition to moral reasons, empathy, that is, empathy with others, plays a major role.

Ultimately, it was about a classic in psychology - the so-called trolley dilemma : A train rushing towards a group of five track workers and would mercilessly roll over them. However, the test person has the chance to set a switch at the last second. The train would dodge, the five track workers would be rescued, but on the siding is working another ignorant worker, who would surely be run over in this case. The subject must therefore weigh whether he saves five track workers in order to send another safely to death. Incidentally, most people opt for the motto: Five lives weigh more than one.

In the Viennese experiment, however, it became clear that if the test persons had previously placed themselves in this one person, they were promptly sacrificed less frequently . In addition, the participants felt much more stressful in their decisions . It could also be said that they were harder to suppress the irrational alternative in favor of the majority. So the result strongly indicates that our social behavior is influenced by whether we perceive others with their thoughts and feelings - and not just in emergency situations.

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